Saturday, January 22, 2011

I am being Perfect in my Imperfections

I have discovered beauty from the inside out.

I have found my path.  I trust my path.  I am allowing the universe to show up and do its work.  I am not stressing or pushing to have a physical result to show people or myself.

I am shining from the inside out.  I am at peace.  I am allowing.  I am accepting.   I look into the mirror and see myself radiating.  People comment, ” Wow you are so beautiful”. ” You are glowing”.  People that have known me for years.  People that I have only met a few times and people that I have just met.

On the outside, I am not perfect in any way except for my imperfections.  I have laugh lines deep around my eyes that my makeup seeps into and makes more visible.  I have blemishes that are not well disguised.  I have large visible pores.  My hair is wavy with some parts deciding to go straight.  I have a tendency towards a dry scalp that lends me gorgeous flakes in my hair and sometimes down to my shoulders.  I am tall and fit but not neccessarily slim.  I have a full booty.  A belly  that stretches around to my back for love handles.  I have arm fat that surrounds my strong muscles.   I got it all.

I fully accept all of these parts of me.  Do I look for a better eye cream and skincare line?  Yes.  Do I eat well and exercise? Yes.  But, I don’t fuss I don’t fret.  This is who I am right now. Right here, today, and I love and accept it.   I love and accept me in all of my imperfections.  I am perfect in my imperfections.

There is always room for growth internally and externally but that doesn’t mean I make myself feel less than right now.

Accept yourself.  Love yourself.  Show up for yourself.   Be perfect in all of your imperfections.  You are gorgeous.  You are glowing.  You are on your path.

Consider that wherever you are now is part of your path.  There is no wrong path.  Yours just may twist and turn along the way.  You may go straight for a while and then hit a turn.  You may end up taking U-turns.   You may drive round and round in circles.  Trust it, allow it, love it and love you, all of you.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I am being with the weather.

I could possible win an award for the amount I check up on, or don’t check on, to be more accurate weather reports.  This morning, when I opened my blinds I noticed some fresh snow on the railing of my fire escape.  As I was getting ready to leave for yoga, I thought about the fresh snow and wondered if I better wear my wellies (rainboots, if you don’t know).  I figured it was just a little fresh snow and the streets have been quite clean from the last fall, so I chose my cozy Uggs.

I stepped out the door, to discover some wetness, or really a LOT of wetness.   Halfway down the block, I thought, “Do I go back up and change?”.  I had left a few minutes later then usual already and I don’t like to be late or even on time for yoga.  I like to be early.  So, I chose to keep on walking the mile to my yoga studio.   I doubted it would be that bad.

In fact, it turned out to be the most weather that I have yet endured here in NYC.  Cold, rainy sleet coming down onto my wool coat and into my face.  Slushy snow and puddles covering the ground and making it very interesting for stepping from sidewalk to street.  After only a few blocks, my cozy Uggs had become swamps that I could not escape, but it was just weather.  It was just wetness.  Did I wish that I had worn my wellies instead?  Of course, I did.  But, I didn’t.  That is it, end of story.  I am not making myself wrong, or getting angry or doubting my choices.  I am not scolding myself for not checking the weather.

Life is a game, an adventure and this was part of my adventure for today.  I actually flashed back to my trip back to visit my family over Christmas.  My niece and nephew (8 and 5) had just recieved Mario Brothers for their Wii and I really got into playing it while I was there.  As I picking where to place my feet along my path, to get the least amount of swamp foot, I thought, this is just like Mario Brothers.  Today, I reached a new world on the game and it happened to be the world of wet winter storm.  Am I going to quit the game because it doesn’t look as fun as the one where I get to leap into clouds?   Heck no.  I like this life game (and Mario game) I am not going to let the world that I walked into today stop me from getting closer to rescuing the princess.

Walking in the slushy streets reminds me to be present to the now.  I first noticed this on New Year’s Eve, when I left my house in 5 inch heels (not normal for my attire) while there was remnant snow patches from the big blizzard still about.  I often walk with my cell phone in hand, texting, tweeting, taking notes of my thoughts, etc.  With the snow and slush, I put the phone away and pay close attention to where each foot is going to land.  For this, I am grateful for the weather that allows me to slow down and be with it, to be present with what is there.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I am being with the Little Things.

I take SUCH great pleasure, in such LITTLE things and I absolutely LOVE it.

Just now, I was passing my freshly steeped pomegranate green Tulsi tea back and forth between a mason jar full of ice and an old sauerkraut jar to cool the tea off, I was craving iced tea.  Back and forth, back and forth and for some reason this made me giggle with joy and feel overcome with pride.  I felt like a little pro bartender mixing up my patron’s order.  Seriously, this small action brought me pride and joy.

Earlier today on the way to my local health food store, I passed two men who are visible into their 70s.  One was dressed in a sweatsuit and carrying a basketball, the other was wearing, jeans, a nice top hat, and wool coat.  I noticed the basketball and wondered if perhaps the man in the sweatsuit was going to meet his grandchild to play at the park that is right by my apartment.  On my way back from the store, I glanced up when passing the park and spotted those two men, on a basketball court playing, just them  out shooting hoops on this mighty chilly day.  I LOVE IT!

When stopping by the library to return a few books and pick up my newest holds, I was finishing up my green juice that I had just got at the health food store and the woman checking me out asked me if I minded telling her where I had got the juice.  She lives on the other side of town and hasn’t found anywhere in this neighborhood to find any.  Are you kidding me?  Do I mind?  I rattled off 3 places nearby, complete with cross streets, prices and their green juice offerings.  I love to share!

Lately, I find myself gliding around my apartment acting as if I am a ballerina.  I am not present to my actions until I am mid leg lift or turn and then I lite up with laughter at myself.  It could be the after effects of watching Black Swan or my re-gaining of strength in my core muscles from my consistent yoga-ing.  Either or, I love the randomness of it.

What are some little things that brought you joy today?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

I am being with what I don't know, I don't know

Last week, floating out of a yoga class feeling the most incredible mix of relaxation and rejuvination, I got present to the fact that many people out there have no idea that feeling this amazing exists.   I myself had forgotten it existed, not because I felt like crap before class, but actually because in fact, before class I felt pretty damn good.   This got me pondering as to how we as people can be stunting our own growth and happiness, because we simply already “think” we feel great or good enough.

I flashed back to last year when one of my best friends told me she wasn’t interested in attending an amazing workshop that I had recently gone to because she is already “good”.    “I already have a positive outlook on life, I don’t really stress, I am happy”, she said, “so I don’t think I need it”.

What was getting in the way of her attending this transformational workshop was WHAT SHE DIDN’T KNOW, SHE DIDN’T KNOW.  Prior to taking the workshop myself, I too was “good”, great in fact.  I was already known to be and I felt inside that I was one of the most positive people around.  I already enjoyed every moment, but I also knew and still know that there is always room for growth.  There is always more to uncover, there is always learning to be had.   It wasn’t that I thought my friend “needed” to take the workshop, that there was something wrong with her, just like there was nothing wrong with me or wrong with you, but WHY NOT take it?

I had signed up for the workshop, for the same reason I do many things,  I said to myself “WHY NOT?”  If I like it, I like it, if I don’t, I don’t.  Either way, I won’t know until I try.  I was not searching for this workshop or one like it, I found it via a friend who had taken it.  Like me, he was already I true lover of life pre-workshop, but when he came out he was on fire in a new way.  So, I said, well, WHY NOT.  I didn’t know what I would get out of it,  I really wasn’t looking to get anything out of it, but I was open to it and open to see what showed up.

This WHY NOT mindset of mine applies to all areas of my life, whether it be a food, exercise, music, a book,  on and on and on.  This doesn’t mean that I am constantly searching, but that I am open, that I don’t put up walls, and that I am aware that  WHAT I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T KNOW exists.

I am completely happy and content each day, but not in a way that cuts off room for growth. I leave space and stay open to all that life has to offer.  I get that you may be happy or good in your life right now, YAY for you, right!  But, let this be a reminder that growth of all kinds is available to you, even if you don’t think you need it.