Thursday, May 13, 2010

in my pain.

I am in so much pain. It hurts, I hurt, all over, inside and out. I want to kick and scream and cry!!!! I want to curl up in a ball and just sob my eyes out. What is this? Is it my fibromyalgia acting up? Is it soreness from yoga and running? What did this? Was it something I ate? Or drank? Something I took or didn’t take? Please, help me, I am in so much freaking pain.

I don’t want this. You can not control me pain! You can not take my gratitude. You can not steal my being. You can not dehabiliate me. I will push through you. I am not my pain. I don’t need to know where you came from. I will take no more time sinking into you, trying to figure you out. I don’t need you, pain.

I am not ignoring you, pain, I am being with you, but not letting you take me, all of me. You can not have 100% of my focus. I will not re-act through my pain, I will act more consciously from my heart and soul.

You may have taken me over for some time, but you have reminded me that I want to be Love in every moment. You have reminded my that to be inspiring is to be inspired. You moved me to pause and notice the beauty that surrounds me and that is inside me.

Pain, you showed me a lot and now you are gone. You may be coming right back, but that is okay, I will now take you as a reminder to show me who I want to be even in the face of pain.


  1. Adding visions of you at peak health and vitality to my daily meditations. And so it is. ~ Peace, love, & blessings!

  2. Dearest Tricia,
    I just want to encourage you to go and see a traditional doctor if the pain doesn't seem to be going...your body might be trying to warn you of something.
    I understand that they don't have the solutions to all illnesses...there's some things they aren't great at managing, but there are some things that their methods are fantastic at healing.
    So please don't feel like it would be weak to go and consult one; you wouldn't be a hypocrite...just wise.
    As the philospher K. Rogers says "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." ;)
    Sending loads of love to you,
    Jannah xx

  3. Yeah, if it's your fibromyalgia, doctors aren't much help - at least they haven't been for me. But pushing yourself is no good either. And I don't care what you eat or what herbs you take or what exercise you do, it doesn't get rid of it. I tried everything over a 20 yr period and only got worse. Here is a treatment program that has finally helped me over the past 6 years if you're interested.