Saturday, August 7, 2010

a web of self

I spin in my own web quite well.

Not having a "job" that I have to get out and to, such as an office, I find many being confused with how I occupy my time.

My brain spins and spits out ideas, possibilities, wants, edits, love, recognition, to do's, and on and on endlessly. I actually mark things in my calender for events happening, due dates, travel ideas, other peoples schedules in more and I check it constantly. My mind is swimming constantly and I am able to pause it and focus on what I am doing when I am doing it, but I make a conscious effort to hit pause. Then, when I let it play again a huge circle of creation envelopes me. I want to write this, share that, make those, oh, what's over there? I can be easily distracted and then

......woah....I just got transported away, seriously, and posted something on my website to the WHAT INSPIRES ME TODAY category and completely forgot that I was writing a blog, until I closed that window and this came back up....and then I saw the last words that I had written.  PRETTY FREAKING PERFECT....

I also, have no concept of time and have taken to setting alarms throughout the day, when I have plans to be somewhere or want to do things.  Otherwise the hours roll by and I have forgotten about things that I have scheduled or wanted to do that are outside of my internal web.

My web is a happy place.  It is not a place of stress or lacking. I am giggling and spinning in circles of joy in my web.  Yes, outside circumstances sometimes pop up to interupt my web, and I roll with them.  The web is made of a material that is buoyant.  It stretches, and takes on various forms without holding onto damaging dents.

In my web, I get to create ways to take time outs.   Even though, I spend days doing what I want and creating what I want, and making my own "schedule"  it is easy for me to forget to take a load off.  To not be attached to  To just sit and enjoy, to do my yoga practice and take a walk.  This week, I  have allotted for myself one hour of laying on the beach, book reading time.  I can take it at any time of day and it is truly a gift.

Thank you self, you are welcome self.  We got to take good care of our selves, and remember that our community is always here for us when we want support. 

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