Just now, I was in my bathroom putting on my new W3LL Narcissist Stick Foundation (thanks to No More Dirty Looks for introducing me). I caught myself in the mirror and with no pre-meditated thoughts, said outloud, “I am blessed with imperfect skin.” I paused, hearing what I had just said and thought, wow that is true.
I regularly say that I was blessed with fibroymalgia, because it made me truly listen to my heart. I was always in so much pain physically that I could not stand to carry around emotional pain, as well. I noticed that when I was in situations that I did not like, working jobs that I did not like, or when I was holding things in that my pain multiplied. Really, the pain was always there, but when I was I doing things that I loved it was easy to ignore.
At the age of 15, after hitting an ultimate painful low, emotionally and physically (I was still undiagnosed at that point) I started to completely tell the truth, to speak my truth. I chose to tell my parents what I was really up to on the weekends, when I said I was spending the night over my friend, Ali’s. I chose to speak up in high school, to not be afraid of being disowned by the “cool” kids. I said what I thought, even if it was uncomfortable.
Over the years, I have committed to this. It is not always easy to speak up, but I have to. My body won’t let me get away with not. Sometimes, I don’t even know what it is, but I feel the pain, the anxiety in my body and I know, there is something that I am not saying. There is something I must get clear about.
So, no matter who it is with, a top artist that I am working for, a tough guy boss, a friend who I looked up to, my parents, a love interest, or even myself, I have to speak up. My body won’t let me play games. My body won’t let me fake it.
Today, when “I am blessed with imperfect skin” came out of me, I paused to ponder that. “Whatever do you mean, Tricia?” I asked myself. I have always battled acne prone skin. It runs in my family. I have tried all sorts of things. I have accepted it.
I don’t wear makeup everyday anymore, sometimes I go weeks without. I walk just as tall with my imperfections covered as I do with them bare for all to see. My skin, does not define me. Perhaps, I have been blessed with my skin for me to see that my true beauty lies within, and from there shines out. Perhaps, I have been blessed with my imperfect skin to teach me to love and accept all imperfections, internal and external.
Do I want clear skin with no visible pores and no signs of scarring? Abso-freaking-lutely! Do I try out new products, get facials, use purifying masks? Of course, but I am not caught up in “if only I had clear skin”. I accept what is. I accept who I am, scars, blemishes in all. The ones on my face and the ones on the inside, too.
What blessings can you find in your own life?
I regularly say that I was blessed with fibroymalgia, because it made me truly listen to my heart. I was always in so much pain physically that I could not stand to carry around emotional pain, as well. I noticed that when I was in situations that I did not like, working jobs that I did not like, or when I was holding things in that my pain multiplied. Really, the pain was always there, but when I was I doing things that I loved it was easy to ignore.
At the age of 15, after hitting an ultimate painful low, emotionally and physically (I was still undiagnosed at that point) I started to completely tell the truth, to speak my truth. I chose to tell my parents what I was really up to on the weekends, when I said I was spending the night over my friend, Ali’s. I chose to speak up in high school, to not be afraid of being disowned by the “cool” kids. I said what I thought, even if it was uncomfortable.
Over the years, I have committed to this. It is not always easy to speak up, but I have to. My body won’t let me get away with not. Sometimes, I don’t even know what it is, but I feel the pain, the anxiety in my body and I know, there is something that I am not saying. There is something I must get clear about.
So, no matter who it is with, a top artist that I am working for, a tough guy boss, a friend who I looked up to, my parents, a love interest, or even myself, I have to speak up. My body won’t let me play games. My body won’t let me fake it.
Today, when “I am blessed with imperfect skin” came out of me, I paused to ponder that. “Whatever do you mean, Tricia?” I asked myself. I have always battled acne prone skin. It runs in my family. I have tried all sorts of things. I have accepted it.
I don’t wear makeup everyday anymore, sometimes I go weeks without. I walk just as tall with my imperfections covered as I do with them bare for all to see. My skin, does not define me. Perhaps, I have been blessed with my skin for me to see that my true beauty lies within, and from there shines out. Perhaps, I have been blessed with my imperfect skin to teach me to love and accept all imperfections, internal and external.
Do I want clear skin with no visible pores and no signs of scarring? Abso-freaking-lutely! Do I try out new products, get facials, use purifying masks? Of course, but I am not caught up in “if only I had clear skin”. I accept what is. I accept who I am, scars, blemishes in all. The ones on my face and the ones on the inside, too.
What blessings can you find in your own life?
