I bought this shirt that I love from my favorite store, Lululemon, a few weeks ago. I fell in love with the shirt when it first came out, but did not like how it fit me. When running super early to meet a friend in Santa Monica a stumbled into the store and saw the shirt on sale. I decided to try it on again and loved it this time! I asked myself if I really needed a new shirt after giving away most of my closet in the previous weeks. Will I wear this in India? I convinced myself that it was necessary and that yes, it would come along in my backpack to India.
The next day I was getting dressed for my day and grabbed my new purchase to put on. I was so excited, I mean this is a shirt I had wanted months ago. I slipped on some jeans and went to the mirror... The horror! Oh no, it did not look nearly as amazing on me as it did in the dressing room! Maybe it was the yoga pants I was wearing when I tried it on, the lighting, the mirror, or even my mood that convinced that me the shirt was flattering?
I scrambled through the rest of my packed bag for a different shirt to wear, but was not into anything I found. I really loved the shirt I had just bought, but did it make me look fat? Wait, stop....What did I just say? What did I just think? What happened to loving my body right now as it is, because that is what I am right now? I may want to be thinner, I may be fleshier then I think I usually am, but even if I start to eat less and exercise more, I still look like this today.
So, I wear the shirt, and I love the shirt and I love myself right then and there. But, the challenge does not stop there. Everytime I put on that shirt, I have a little fight with myself. I love the shirt. It feels so cozy, It fells good on, it does fit well, but when I look in the mirror the judgements come on strong! I turn from side to side for a better angle, I try a different undergarment, etc, etc. Then that voice pops back in, "this is how your body looks today, what are you going to do?' , and over and over again I get to choose to love myself right now inside and out.