Thursday, December 17, 2009

an open space.

Last weekend I attended a Christmas Party of the sound company that I used to work for. They are the reason I am in San Diego. I moved here before I graduated from college in Chicago to start working and then flew back to take my finals. I was that ready and excited to be a part of their company. They are the second largest touring sound company in the world. I worked hard for them. I pushed my way into their ranks by working tirelessly and showing how non-girly I was in my heavy lifting, but still showcasing how girly I was in my compassion and consideration. I loved being part of that world. My touring career started with them and I am endlessly grateful for their love and support. I left the company in 2006, after working for them for three years to venture into new positions in the production world, but ended up returning to sound in a free-lance position. I have kept a personal and working relationship with many of the employees and bosses, but being at the party got me present to some things about myself.

I was able to be present there fully as me, as I am right now. Who is that? I am not sure! And that is why it was so great to feel like myself. To be interested, engaging, loving, and confidant. I was confidant as myself without having a title to attach to myself. I am no longer a sound engineer, I am no longer going to be a part of that world. I guess I can still call myself a "joyologist" but I do not see myself touring anymore. I am most confident in saying that I am starting a new life. I am going to write and I am going to see what comes up and who I end up being next.

I don't know if I can ever recall being more confident in where I am as I do right now in my life and that place is of a huge open space. I don't know what or who is going to fill it and I do not know where it is going to take me next.


  1. What a wonderful feeling to have! I've had it myself, on and off over the years - I'm still trying to figure out how to keep it with me at all times.
    Enjoy your open space!:)

  2. Sounds like u are at a new chapter in your life! Wow, what a feeling to have... Embrace it positively and I bet all good will come your way.

  3. It is always refreshing to read your blog....keep it coming....Good luck with your new life and your ever growning confidence....
    Cheers from Brasil!

  4. It kind of sounds like you never stop touring :) "Tour" is such a temporary physical word that leaves long lasting emotional growth marks. You're just on a different tour now!

  5. Hi Tricia - Congratulations on taking this next step in your life. As a writer myself (all be it an amateur one) there is nothing more fulfilling than completing a page of words that show a true connection and can invoke an emotion (or several).
    I watched a show on Maya Angelou last night and it reconfirmed my knowledge that words truly are inspiration. Good luck with your writing and hey if you ever get stuck you can always reach out to your online community to reinspire you. Take Care,