Tuesday, December 1, 2009

what I am being

The tour ended last night and upon returning to my hotel I immediately felt like I had A.D.D. I could not be still, I could not fall asleep. When I woke up in the morning I stayed in bed for a few hours tuning into random movies that were on in English. I wasn't departing the hotel until 9pm to head to the airport. I questioned my laziness, but decided I was allowed to take advantage of having my own space and a comfy bed for the day. As I am once again transient. True, I have "moved" in with one of my best friends for the time until my departure to India, but I have moved into a room that she has used as a music room in the 5 years she has lived there. Also, I will be spending more nights away then at my new roomie's. I am committed to spending time with friends and family all over the U.S. before my big departure. My constant travel from tour will barely be slowing down, but instead of inspiring love to my touring companions of band and crew I will be inspiring love with people that have touched me and inspired me and they will be calling me into being inspiring love.

So, I had a day of hotel room lounging, internet, and organizing. I met a few people for a final local Brazilian meal and then packed up for my 9pm lobby call to the airport. As soon as I reached the lobby, the A.D.D. feeling set back in. Now, I am on the plane 5 hours later and wondering, "what is my deal?" Is it my internet addiction kicking in and setting me into withdraws? Is it the teany tiny cup of fresh local coffee i tasted 6 hours ago at dinner? Is it my pure excitement for the ending of the tour and the start of a new leg of my life?

All I know is that I feel like this right now, because I am like this right now. There is no need to label the feeling or to figure out the cause of it. I am just going to be with it and see what it has to offer. For instance, I am currently on an eight hour red-eye flight typing this blog, listening to the in-flight movie, and interacting with my fellow travelmates a few seats away. I don't mean taking breaks from one and going to the other, I am doing it all at once. I was planning on sleep, but this is what I am right now.


  1. LOL loved the picture!! reminds me of mine, haha.

    Question: is going with your feelings always (or so often) the right thing to do?
    It's what I've been doing lately but it's also complicating things (things I couldn't care less such as school, but it's still complicating things.)

    xoxo <3

  2. I'm Sorry, but why you left the band?or what happened? thank! big kiss

  3. Been there. I've had many a day where I'm just feeling indescribable. I can usually explain it by doing what you've pictured above.

  4. Love the picture!
    And that ADD feeling is just another more concentrated form of happiness. Isn't it great??

  5. esos extraños sentimientos son parte de lo que uno es....


  6. have you ever considered putting up your own website? your very own inspiration station. you can post your blogs, which I love by the way. super awesome radness they are, I enjoy reading them. you can post raw recipes, or even have video cooking tutorials, maybe even online yoga classes. how awesome would that be??

    just a thought... I think it'd be pretty awesome. I'd definitely visit your site all the time if you did.

  7. I can definately relate to ADD element of your activities, when I went back to uni in sept I was trying to win appeal to concurrent learn..which I failed...

    At times I felt like my behaviour was a tad manic to say the least, was running on overdrive, felt like I had the energy of half a dozen people and mood was extremely elevated...

    Am not in uni now and hoping pass this module this time to start again in next sept..

    So mood now bit low, and looking back on the experience I wonder where the energy comes from...

    So working on positive attitude 'bit challenging' looking at the good and trying not to focus on the bad....

    Reading your blogs makes me smile and as always make me want to take the leap into the unknown..

    Much love Gill :-)x x