Sunday, November 29, 2009


I often have moments when I completely forget that my Father is gone. Just a moment ago as I was meandering about online, I heard my mailbox telling me that I had a new email. The first thought that came into my head was, "maybe it's Dad!" I often have moments like this, my phone rings, a text comes in and I am expecting it to be him. More times I pick up the phone to call him and then remember he is no longer there. But, maybe these moments are not misguided, maybe it is him in spirit telling me that he is here with me, that he is thinking about me, that he is watching over me. I do feel him with me. I feel a thickness in the air. I feel the look of pride and love in his eyes. I see his smile. I really feel his protection so much that if I were not as strong and open, I would be running for help in fear that there was someone in my room, someone following me. I feel his energy with me that strong.

I love you Dad and I love the person I am and have become in the dealing with your loss and in turn with life itself.

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
A. Sachs


  1. They're always with us. I believe that with every inch of who I am. Close your eyes and you can always meet them there.

  2. You just took my feelings and put them into words. I can't help looking for her (my mom) everywhere. Sometimes I even feel bad cause is like I forgot she's not here? But she is. Here, everywhere, all the time. Actually even more than before.
    I like to think she almost did it to challenge myself. Is all about getting sth positive from her loss and learning from it. It is hard, but rewarding when you see what you've become because of it.

    Thnx again for your beautiful words Tricia!
    I love reading what comes out of that amazing mind of yours.
    You inspire me every day.

  3. This is lovely. There's not much more to it than that. :)

  4. What a wonderful reminisensce. When my father passed 9 years ago, I was terrified of losing his presence...

    I need not have worried at all. I hear his voice in a peaceful melody, smell his scent in a passing sniff of paint thinner, and see him everytime I catch a reflection of my smile.

    I know in this way, they stay with us forever. I'm glad you find peace there as well.

  5. I lost my grandmother nine years ago. I can't believe it's been that long already. It still hurts not having her here. A few days ago on the bus ride to work I heard what sounded like her voice. I turned and it was a women talking on the phone sitting in the back by herself. I dream about her alot especially when I'm having a bad day. Her hugs always made me feel better, and since she isn't here anymore to hug it all better, I think of those dreams as her way of telling me that I'll be o.k.

    she was an amazing women. I love her.. I miss her...

  6. " through your tears and sorrow
    smile then maybe tomorrow
    you'll see the sun shining through
    if you just smile..."

    I was humming this tune for days after my grandfather passed on. I later found out he used to sing it all the time. It's amazing how we hold lineage in our DNA like strands of light. how we are connected. Everyday angels. like the one's who led me here.

    shine on goddess gal with the light you hold the love is always there

  7. Wow.... Having lost my Dad last year, you just summed up beautifully how I feel almost everyday.

    You are an incredible and inspiring woman! I wish you nothing but love and happiness in your new endeavours.

  8. My husband was taken from me 8 years ago... Our lives were upturned after that... I think u know what I mean... My 3 (then) kids grew up faster than expected and experienced loss and grief... 8 years later, we have healed and we still have our moments but they are controlled and we have learned alot. Death changes everyone, some for the better, some for the worse... For me, I can see how much I've grown,found out how I can do things on my own... My husband would be proud to see how his 3 kids have turned into great adults...

  9. i feel the same about my father tricia. i'm glad i had him for 29 yrs though. even though we miss them, they are still with us no matter what. your dad and my dad are probally hangin out.

    hugs from me to you mama.

  10. He and everyone you love who has had that change in perspective we call "death" is so present in this moment. I can feel my dad even if I can't see him with my senses.

    You are so loved sweetness!


  11. It is in those wonderful memories that our legacy lives on, and it is in this legacy left that we feel the true beauty that life has instore for us.

  12. I'm very sorry for your loss! I've also lost my father I can't believe that almost 5 years have already passed... But I also can't believe how lucky I've been to have the best father in the world for those 12 years :)
    And I totally understand what you wrote. Everytime the phone rang I was expecting it to be him saying it was just a joke or something like that... Thankfully all that is over now. There's just one thing I still fear...

    What was the point of all this? Ah, well. Just keep being strong and remember every wonderful moment you had together <3 You'll learn a lot in these times to come, as I have =)

  13. Beautifully expressed. I so feel your loss and experience this daily since the loss of both my parents, they are not gone, but merely changed to another veil, and one day we will change too and be together once again.

  14. this is all normal... and the more time that passes I find it's not going away. I'm always going to think about calling him.... only now we don't need the phones :)


  15. They are not gone...just in the next room. :)
    I send a special acknowledgement to him for bringing you here.
    Love you!

  16. You probably have his energy. And It`s forever. You are part of him and he`s always going to be part of you.
    Sorry to come here like this... you don`t even know me lol
    I loved your blog. Loved your energy and the love you show.
    I have a blog also, but most of my blogs post are in portuguese, but my twitter is in english.
    I`m from Rio but i was living in California till june this year. I`m going back to Cali next year.
    Congrats for your posts.
    It makes me feel good about reading this things.

    Naty Ansbach

  17. Your blog is so inspirational! A beautiful reminder to appreciate everyone and everything in our lives.

    Thank you!

  18. =(

    you are amazing. you inspire.

    your dad was a dashing man :)

  19. Love has no limitations or boundaries ... not even death. The connection was have to our loved ones is eternal.

    I feel the presence of my dad's energy around me from time to time. But sometimes my dad comes to visit me in my dreams.

  20. Beautiful words sweetie!! I often feel he is sitting beside our mother on that other plane watching over all of us.....

  21. I get this weighty thickness right above my elbows like being embraced from behind and, not too long after, there comes a sign of confirmation from the outside world...I like to stay open and, not to sound too crazy, it's much easier to telepathically communicate with them. So they become this powerful source of guidance having a clearer perspective on what life really is about: Love...

    ...k, enough rambling. :)