Today I woke up to an email from one of my closest friends. She wrote that she had had a bad couple of days recently, due to some unwelcome criticism from people. She was now out of her funk, but she had let it effect her for a few days. Words hurt. It took me a long, long time to be able to agree with that old saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me". I actually just realized now, as I was typing this, that I do finally agree with it.
In my life already, I have been in several situations where I have actually said to myself, "This is the hardest thing I will ever live through." I believe that by telling myself that, I was able to get through those times. It was as if it helped me to push through it and get to the other side. Instead of succumbing to the tragedy that I was living through and letting it take me over, I told myself "This is it. I will get through this and then it is over." I truly believe that it gave me power in my life and today I am grateful that life handed me those situations.
I responded to my friend's email immediately with excitement and this is a direct copy of how my email to her started.
That sucks! But what a great thing to push through! What an amazing experience to have all that hatred coming at you for no reason! What a huge test for the love and confidence you have for yourself and your art! As, I am reading it again now, I am laughing out-loud at myself. I kind of sound like a nut, but I love it and I believe it.
My favorite quote is from Eleanor Roosevelt and I have a tattoo represented on myself in full view as a constant reminder. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Since living with this reminder on myself for the last 5 years I have interpreted that quote to cover all emotions. The only person that can make you feel happy is yourself. The only person who can make you feel loved is yourself.
The only person that can make you feel ______________________ is yourself!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
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Amen. I've had that approach of, "I will get through this and then it's over forever" for awhile now and it's an amazing way to push through those hard moments and not let them last beyond what they have to. Tomorrow is always a new day.
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY.
ReplyDeleteI think You're on the "Good Red Road" Tricia. :)
Absolutely. Nothing can harm you but your own thoughts, nothing can disconnect you but your own thoughts, no one and nothing outside of you can stop you from your power to be grateful, to be in love with life, to be in love with yourself! You're completely and always the sole author of the story in your mind! Ain't that amazing!??!
ReplyDeletelove love
k.
I stumbled into your blog and I am glad I did.
ReplyDeleteI like your blog there is so much positive energy that comes from reading what you are up to here. You have some great words of wisdom that you put into very readable language.
Dear Tricia,
ReplyDeleteToday is the day I was introduced to your blog. It's very timely and divinely sent to me.
I am 37 years old and married with 4 AMAZING kids. I am the youngest child of 10 for my father. Like many people my childhood was both beautiful and traumitizing. One parent a violent alcoholic and mentally ill and the other dwelling in the abyss of chaos. Obviously, in the midst of all the pain they were facing, I was too. Their pain largely shaped my childhood. I reached a point in my life where I learned to be thankful for what WAS, gleaning the gifts that are in everything, and making sure that their pain...and my pain.....wasn't in vain. It's not easy, but it's good, it's hard, and it's not impossible.
It's nearly 12:30pm here in the Pac NW. A few hours ago I was being sucked into a very dark, very ugly hole. My older sister has been living with us for about 7 months. She is an alcoholic, a former herion addict, and has been diagnosed with several mental disorders including sociopathy. She is on several prescription medications, which many of them seem to me as being no better for her than the herion partly because she abuses them too, plus she drinks with them. She's several years older than I am and we don't share the same mother. Growing up she made sure that I knew I didn't belong. After having children my priorities shifted from needing approval from my family and turned to learning more about love and acceptance and of course......forgiveness. I know that those things change shape as we grow, and I have learned that if I can stand in the rain with the same joy as I do standing in the sun, with the same love, then not only am I stronger, but my spirit is in rhythm with divinity. There is good in everyone and everything. Including me.
In the wee hours of this morning my sister and I got into a huge fight. It was terrible. She's usually up all night, which isn't a big problem except she's very loud and doesn't honor the fact that anyone else is trying to rest. So my husband and I both asked her to be quiet. It escalated from there. After the fight I was blaming myself for not ignoring her and felt responsible for the fight. All of these months I was hoping that when she left our home she would be leaving a little better than when she came. But the ugliness of our fight caused me to think that all was in vain. What was it all for? Her scewed reality is still scewed and now I am just another reason for her to continue to live in her afflictions.
I felt responsible for her heart.
And I was giving her permission to break mine.
I got on the internet today and was led to your blogs. I read the first one and was again led down the page. I was reminded of the lesson of self love. I was given another gift. Your message to your friend was also for me. The past several months have not been in vain. Is my sister leaving our home better than when she came? I don't know. But at the end of the day I don't need to know. What I do know is that I do love myself. I will continue to love my sister. I will continue to be love and model that for my children. Not starting over...starting from where I am.
Thank you for being a vessal of love.
~Rose