I am quite aware that I am comfortable making requests, large and small, without much thought. I am always ready and open for a big fat “NO” to be handed back to me. Often, I have so many ideas that by the time a person even gets to an email with a request from me, I have moved 6 times past that in another direction. So, my friends may be overwhelmed with requests by me and they may struggle with the easiness of saying, “no, that doesn’t work for me”. When, I forgot I have even asked for anything at all. My mind is always working, coming up with new idea after new idea. I am also incapable of sending one really thought out concise thought. I will end up using three emails, two texts, and a phone call to cover one thing. I write things as they come to me and hit send right away. Then, maybe remembering something else 5 seconds later that goes with it. This is me. Of course, I hope to work on this, but I am happy to just be aware of this quality of mine. I am so grateful to be able take criticism or observations of myself and listen and to know. I love that I can laugh at myself and the thoughts that come up for me and the actions I take.
I move at the speed of light sometimes and I love it. How can I expect others to keep up. A freedom dwells inside of me that only I can know. I can make up ideas about what I believe dwells in my loved ones, but I will never know their root. We all have so much history from our interactions, our schooling, our upbringings, life in general that knowing one another to me is miraculous. I often feel as if I have known someone all of life after only sharing one laugh with them. It just feels good, feels right and maybe that is all I need. It usually is, but it is crazy to think what knowing someone actually may mean. The words, “I thought I knew them”, are often spoken or thought to oneself, but since we only see life through our own filter, who is it that we know?
I love it. It makes me laugh. All of life. It really is so simple, but we can make it into so much. I am grateful to be able to watch myself, my thoughts, and my actions. I am not perfect. I don’t aim to be. I like to clean my slate often, to take a breath and laugh it all away. I am aware that I let go of things and ideas about others and myself often, but that does not mean that the other person is doing the same. They have their own junk, their own cleansing breaths. We each operate at our own pace, which may change by day or by minute. So how can I judge, when I really cannot know?