I feel alive again! Inside and out. I don't know if it is just that my physical health is back that is effecting me or what. I feel like a can take anything on. I know that life is perfect now and that what is coming is perfect and all that has happened is perfect. I have had a lot of time in the last 10 days that I have been back in the states. I was sick that entire time, so not fully functional, but I logged a lot of awake hours. Even though my body was not 100%, my mind was work, work, working away. I found a new home, inquired about work, and searched for items to acquire for my new space. I logged a lot of hours online.
In this time a lot of thoughts and judgements came up for me. Fears of what people were thinking of me, of what people was expected from me. I know that is all me judging myself and I reminded myself to breathe through it and shake it off, literally. A lot of excitement came up to. I really do feel like I am starting a new, not in India but here and I feel that this may be a bigger challenge and I am up for it.
I have a job interview Sunday morning at a Lululemon store near where I will be living. I have not had a job interview since February of 2000, except for when Dolly Parton flew me to Nashville in 2005 for the day to feel me out before hiring me. That job interview in 2000 was at the House of Blues Chicago to work in the company store, selling T-shirts. That is the job that started me on this path. From there I met the concert production staff and was able to weasel my way in to be a part of that world, to be a sound engineer. I made it all happen from folding T-shirts. So who knows what is to come next. I may not even get this job and that is perfect. I may get it and work there for 2 months. I may get it and create a new role in the company. I am ready to go wherever this life is leading me.
I do plan on bringing my "joyology" to the world, I just don't know how yet. For now it will be just being me and reaffirming it in myself.