Grounded

A few months ago, I went on a retreat to a farm in Maui. It was an amazing experience all together, put on by Café Gratitude of San Francisco. There is a community of farmers that live on the farm full-time and most of them participated in the retreat as well. It was such beautiful group, inside and out. When the retreat was over and I was saying my goodbyes, one of the female farmers hugged me and said, “ You just seem so grounded, it was great to be in your presence.” I think that is the greatest compliment that I have ever received. I had really never even had a one on one conversation with her. This is just what she picked up from listening to me and observing me in our community setting.

This was the best news to me, because for so long I was not grounded. It was first brought to my attention when I had my first astrology reading. Of course, it was easy for anyone to say that as I barely had a permanent resident and lived my life on the road. Even when I was not on tour, I was somewhere temporary. But, beside the physicality of it I was not grounded inside either. Back then, I felt like I was always searching for something. I was strong and confident, but didn’t feel complete.

From the outside it may not look like much has changed. I spent 210 days of 2009 on tour and another 40 days in places that were not my address. To top it all off I leave in a few days to go to India with a one-way ticket and really no timeline, or estimation of when I will come back and where I will come back to. But, inside is a whole new story, I truly feel grounded.

I am making proof of this statement in the way I make myself at home where ever I am. I may be sleeping in a different bed every night, but I feel the same in each location. This really showed up for me a couple of weeks ago when I was visiting a new friend in Vegas. I have never stayed with her or even been to her house before. I met her this spring when our tour came through and she offered us a chance to see Cirque du Soliel’s Ka. We chatted that night and kept in touch. When I got to her place she said those words are often told to houseguests, “Make yourself at home”. As the words were coming out of her mouth I was opening cabinets in her kitchen looking for a glass and mug. I hadn’t even thought about asking her where they were. That was when I realized that I am now a professional at “making my self at home.”

On that Maui trip, I took part in a medicinal ceremony and in my journey I felt so safe and protected in the darkness of my own eyelids. Not that I didn’t feel safe with my eyes open, but when I closed my eyes, I truly went in and just felt like I was enclosed in the warmest embryo of a hug ever. Since the journey, that safe, protected feeling has not left me, especially at night. I often open my eyes and have no idea where I am, but not in a scary way. In the most beautiful way possible, I feel so connected and protected that it doesn’t matter where I am.

I am grounded!