Today after my re-committing to myself and to my India, as I wrote about in my last blog I got a text from a friend asking if I was okay. I found that funny. What did she think I was freaking out and had a melt down? I did’t get it, although I appreciate her concern. I am just choosing to be more authentic with everyone around me and to live my life more powerfully. Which right now means saying No more often to people and invitations. Also, someone commented on that blog that she understands I'm traveling through a somewhat tormented and indecisive period. Really? I don't feel tormented in the least bit. I feel freer then ever. I am not calling myself indecisive either. I am living and deciding day by day moment by moment and I do have many commitments they just revolve around me. I guess if the label for that is indecisive than cool, you can call me that. Then another friend just called and asked, "So what do you do all day just hang out and exercise?" She didn't understand what I am doing all day, with no obligations and no one to answer to, but I do have obligations and someone to answer to...ME. She made me realize that I don’t think of anything I am doing as exercise. Sure, today included biking to a yoga class and to run errands, a jog on the beach, and a surf session. Those things do qualify as exercise, but to me it is heart-opening, soul-soaring, and connecting with myself and the world around me.
I got to exercise my NO today and it feels so amazing and powerful to be honest enough to say NO and to not need to pad my response or feel the need to apologize for it.
Here is a brief disclaimer about me.
I don’t lie. I don’t bullshit. I don’t play games. I don’t pussyfoot. I am who I am and that may change from day to day, but I don’t hide it. I am not afraid of change. I am not afraid to say that I am wrong or to apologize. I am not a spiritual guru. I am a living, breathing soul here in the world. I am not better than you. I am not right. I am a girl living life and learning from life.
JUST BE WHAT YOU ARE, WHERE YOU ARE.
beautifully said ~ I feel as though im reading about my own life... im 27, single, i live alone and im loving life more than i ever have ~ im not afraid to say NO anymore either - I was so different a few years ago, and with each day that goes by i feel happier ... I love ur transparency and confidence, its comforting to see others going through the same thing ;)
ReplyDeletePreach it, sister. Enjoy your you time. When you're enjoying what you're doing it's silly to think of it as anything other than awesome.
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh! I can relate so much! I feel like I know you Tricia, like we are friends or something. I love what you are doing, living like everyone should live. You are so inspiring! Keep doing what you want, what makes you happy and free.
ReplyDeletei <3 you :-)
ReplyDelete"I am a girl living life and learning from life." That's so perfect... LOVE it :)
ReplyDeletegirl, i LOVE that disclaimer! my friends have grown used to me needing "me" time, not because anything's wrong... just because i do! i've recently gotten to know some new people though, and they didn't understand my turning down invitations to concerts and bars for an entire weekend in favor of hanging out with myself. it's tough to explain.. i just need time with lindsay!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly where u are coming from... My ex bf couldn't believe how unplanned my day may seem to be, tho I do have plans/schedules...I think people ass-u-me that if one doesn't go to work, have obligations to others that there is something wrong w/them... Quite the contrary, we are the ones who have chosen this and /or by luck don't need to meet the obligations of others...
ReplyDelete... Enjoy the curvy road of transformation ! ... thanks for taking us along for the ride; this inspires us to start our own transformation...
ReplyDeleteCheers!
I love exercising my NO! I'm also very honest and I never play games. Many people have a hard time with that, but I finally realized that I have to do what's right for me, just as everyone else should do what's right for them.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful, as always, to you for sharing yourself so openly with me, as one of your readers.
“For those who know the value of and exquisite taste of solitary freedom (for one is only free when alone), the act of leaving is the bravest and most beautiful of all.” ~ Isabelle Eberhardt
ReplyDeletePreach it!!! I loved this post as it is from your heart and it is about your true self. Stay true to yourself, no matter what!!!
ReplyDelete