Monday, March 22, 2010

with this body as it is today.

Last night I chose to set my alarm at 8am to attend the 8:40am yoga class. So, today the alarm goes off at 8 and I cannot get out of bed. I finally coerce myself up and start the kettle for my lemon tea. While the water heats up I lie back on my bed and open my computer to check twitter, facebook, my blog, my emails, the usual. Oh shit! It is time to leave! I need to jump back out of bed and run out the door! I don’t want to! I want to make a green shake and get back in bed, so I do. I fall back asleep hard and finally get out of bed (again) at 11am to start the kettle (again) for Mate’ this time. I put on yoga clothes, and brush my teeth. I am going to this noon class. No matter how sluggish and sore I still feel, the class will feel great.

It is much harder to convince myself to get on my bike and pedal 2.5 miles to class then slumping into a car and pressing on the gas pedal. I have to use this tired, sore body of mine to take me to a physically exerting class. I can do it. I am doing it. I am running around and make a point to stop and check the time. I don’t want to miss this class! I am ready to go and still have 15 minutes! Awesome, I can have a little dance party, then. So, I turn on my little iPod stereo and giggle that this is what came up for me to do when realizing I have 15 spare minutes. I love it.

I hop on my bike and start my ride north along the beach. I am so tight and sore. My butt hurts on my seat. I am making grunting and growling noises to myself. Argh! Do I hurt!! I laugh at this internal dialogue and wonder if the people that I pass along my way are seeing a pained look on my face, probably not as I am sure my bright sun squint face is winning the battle. I make it to yoga with the perfect amount of time to sign in and get settled.

I forget that the noon class is titled Core Yoga, and that means working on my core. One of the first poses that we do is tree pose. Balancing already? I laugh out loud, as I am making up that my stiff, un-yogied body is not going to be up for balancing. I surprise myself by getting into it quite gracefully, actually. The class is quite creative and moving at a nice flowing comfortable pace. A few of the transitions I question whether I will be able to make. I go ahead and try and surprise myself. The teacher offers variations of poses to take them to the next level, variations that my body has done before, but today I know this body can’t do. And I am perfectly content in this. I have nothing to prove to myself, to the others in the room or to the teacher. I don’t feel bad because I can’t do it. This body, today, isn’t up for it.

I am aware of the fact that my current body is taking regular walks in the sand barefoot and pedaling a bicycle on a regular basis. These are things my body in the past didn’t do. Someday again, I may be able to do flying pigeon with very little effort and than fly into chataranga from there, but then again my body may never do that again. Easily or not, and that is perfectly A-OK.

I am perfectly content with where this body is now, with where I am now. I am perfect, whole and complete in this now moment!


  1. I love that our bodies are different every day! It is so exciting to recognize those changes and appreciate our bodies for how complex they are (even when our bodies aren't able to do something one day that it did two days ago). Whenever I have one of those days when I'm stiff or my balance is off or whatever the case may be, my mantra becomes "I am present" to take my mind off it. Your mantra is beautiful, too! Thanks so much for sharing your yoga experience today. :)

  2. You are so wonderful. I really needed this reminder today. Thank you!