comfortable

I have mentioned that I have been asked to attend the Agape church in Los Angeles a few times before and I have turned down the invites. (http://iambeinglove.blogspot.com/2010/03/in-church.html) Not because I did not like the church or idea of it, I just didn’t want to leave my church here at the ocean. The Saturday before Easter, I was talking to a friend who mentioned that she was going to Agape the next day. Easter Sunday at Agape, I said, “I like that idea! I want to go!” I guess my friends had tired of hearing a NO to their invites, so they hadn’t bothered to invite me this week. I am ready to go, though! I want to go!

That morning as I got dressed in my Easter best (aka not yoga clothes) I laughed remembering that Easter is the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection. I am being resurrected, too! I am ready to re-enter the world and come out of India, not just for church today, but for real! I am ready to leave my nest. I want to be of service!

I attended the Agape service and loved it. They sing a lot (most of the service) and even project the lyrics on screens so that everyone can sing along with little effort. I love to sing, but for years have been afraid to. Afraid of what my voice will sound like to others. Afraid of people judging me for singing out loud (do the cool people do that?). Maybe, just maybe, if you were a trusted friend of mine I would dance and sing in front of you with no holding back. But this Sunday I stood in this new environment, surrounded by people of all backgrounds, and I sang. I sang every verse, even when the words were not projected, I listened hard to pick it up, so I could join in.

I sing now. I dance now. This didn’t just start on Easter Sunday, it started last year, but each time that I find myself in public dancing or singing, I acknowledge it. I am so happy to feel this free now. To be able to sing out and move my body with truth and emotion. Not afraid of who is around, who can see me and what they may think. It is one thing to be confident in yourself and what you do, but it is another thing to just be comfortable with yourself. Period.

Sing Loud and Dance Proud through all of life!