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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

right here, right now

My walls are still bare. Once again, I am living in a space that I have not decorated at all. Is this my resistance to settle? I do want things on my walls, I do. I don't know how. I was withholding from spending any money, so I want to blame my bare walls on that, but I bet even if I had money to spend my walls would still be bare. I am so used to having collapsible plans. Do you want to see how fast it will take me to pack up all of my belongings and move out? I bet I can do it an hour. Two hours would be more accommodating, but I bet I can do it in one.

When I go to other people’s homes, my mouth drops in awe of how much of a home they have made for themselves. They have personalized their space. It is cozy and full. I have a 325 sq ft studio that is quite empty. Its not that I just want things to make it look full, but I do want it to be mine. I want it to be more than an extended stay lay-over hotel room.

Maybe, I just don’t know what that looks like? Maybe I am so used to floating and morphing and transforming that I have no idea what Tricia’s space looks like. I keep going back to money. Well, if I just had a fat checking account, I would go crazy. This place would be styled out! But, really, would it?

I do have ideas now. I want to get pillows and make a little sitting corner. I bought a desk and a table and chair set, but I most often end up sitting on my bed or making a picnic on the carpet. I planned to make a little alter when I moved in and I did, but it turned into my nightstand and is mostly a place where I place my water and tea when I am in bed. I want to move my stones and personal pieces to somewhere that I can sit in front of.

I am doing it tomorrow. I am going to change my space. I don’t know anything about feng shui, but I am going to do my own version of it tomorrow. I want to put things on the walls. Really, I do. I will keep my eye out for whatever calls to me (within a budget of course). I want to make this mine. I don’t know how long it will be mine, but that doesn’t mean that I cannot make it mine for now, right now. Cause that is what I got. I got now.

7 comments:

  1. haha, I'm the same when it comes to having collapsible plans :-)
    maybe you find some inspirations on a fleamarket or thrift stores or goodwill (i'm not sure how it's calledin the US), but thats were I find unique stuff for my home :-)

    namastè :-)

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  2. I think it depends of what means a home to you. I have realized that travelling so much and moving from country to country i need to feel the presence of my people. The people that makes me happy, people that even if i dont see for ages, still means the world to me and act as if we had met yesterday even if years had gone by.
    Finding colours that make you happy to see is important too...i like the colour of the ocean (see my blog?) so some of my house rooms look like baby rooms but i dont mind...it makes me feel free!

    Light, natural light has to come in...no thick curtains, only white ones that let the light go through but covering my intimacy...

    :)

    Good luck and post pics of how it looks like in the end!

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  3. Reminds me of the time I moved into my own little space,maybe with a little time you will get used to it and ideas(many) will come.

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  5. I went through the same thing when I moved to San Diego with my boys after my divorce almost 4 years ago. Just follow your heart. When you are ready, things just sort of fall in place and now my home couldn't feel more homier. :)

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  6. love this blog. Maybe you can find some inspiration here
    www.abeautifulliving.blogspot.com/

    good luck!

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  7. Dear Tricia,

    Actually an (almost) empty space is not that a bad thing. I think I read somewhere that it actually is quite healthy, and there are a lot of people nowadays that move towards the "minimalist" way of living. Giving all the information and sensorial overload we have to deal with every single day, having few things in out living spaces is a blessing. Keep it airy, let the energy and natural light flow freely, keep the minimum and it will all be good. We have the tendency of accumulating much more than we need (me included!) and keeping all this stuff drains us of energy. So you're doing it well (probably instinctively). You can be cozy, you can be 'at home' even with just a few things around. What's important it's what's inside.

    On a side note: I have a friend who's been travel the globe (more or less continuously) for 5 years and he manages to do it all with a small backpack. It is mind boggling for us, but he does it very well, never lacks anything he needs, some times he's got things to offer others. 'Minimalist' is the keyword here :)

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