Wednesday, April 21, 2010

with it.

I love weather. I love emotions. I love change. Right now it is stormy on my beach. Not rainy stormy, but windy stormy. The water is crashing wildly. The waves are going in all directions and creating a messy wash. The wind is blowing trash bins over and throwing sand everywhere. I love it.

It has been sunny here recently and I have not gone outside at all, but as soon as this storminess came on I took myself right down to the sand. It is powerful, this weather stuff. We cannot do anything to hide from it. Well, I guess we can, we can turn on the TV and cuddle up, but we know it is going on out there. I love to be with it. It represents change to me. Change that I don’t understand, but change that is happening with my permission or not.

I have always loved the rain. I get excited when it rains. Other people may run and put up umbrellas to try to keep out of the rain. I instead, choose to take walks in it, with nothing shielding me from the wetness. It is a rebirth. A rebirth of what, I don’t know.

I love emotions. I love tears. The greatest, the biggest thing that I have ever done is to let myself cry at my father’s funeral. Not just slow tears rolling out of my eyes, but loud-ass wailing sobbing. I fought it. We are often taught to not show emotion, to not cry. I did not want to show my vulnerability. I am strong! Then, I let myself let it out and it was the most beautiful thing that I have ever done. That is real strength, to be vulnerable. Since that moment, I let my tears roll. Happy or sad tears, angry or joyous tears, I let them come and most importantly I don’t try to figure out where they came from. A tear comes, I acknowledge it, I say, “emotion is present” to myself and I just enjoy it. I love crying!

Weather, emotions, change. Three biggees that I love. These crazy places are where I am most comfortable.

And now, I back down to that weather to take a walk in it. Mmm. mmm. mmm.


  1. Showing your emotions is real strenght, well thats what i think. I don't hide my emotions anymore, and it's good :-)
    I'd love to take a walk at your beach.

  2. Weather changes makes me realize how vulnerable we are, and how small we are. Makes me realize i need to enjoy it all, the long dark winters (Switzerland and Sweden) with the frost creating on my window, the snow in the middle of April after 3 weeks of sunshine, the extreme summer heat when i go home to see mum in Madrid...i dont know which one of those we will loose at some point, but i am sure i am going to miss it.

    Isn't it great when it rains and then the sun comes out? or when its super hot and it rains?


  3. William Browne once said "There is no season such delight can bring, As summer, autumn, winter and the spring" I have to agree.. Had the most amazing lightning show take place while in Yoga class the other night.. Blessing from Gaia on a balmy night... Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain!!! Dance away Tricia...Your not alone in that...