with it.

I love weather. I love emotions. I love change. Right now it is stormy on my beach. Not rainy stormy, but windy stormy. The water is crashing wildly. The waves are going in all directions and creating a messy wash. The wind is blowing trash bins over and throwing sand everywhere. I love it.

It has been sunny here recently and I have not gone outside at all, but as soon as this storminess came on I took myself right down to the sand. It is powerful, this weather stuff. We cannot do anything to hide from it. Well, I guess we can, we can turn on the TV and cuddle up, but we know it is going on out there. I love to be with it. It represents change to me. Change that I don’t understand, but change that is happening with my permission or not.

I have always loved the rain. I get excited when it rains. Other people may run and put up umbrellas to try to keep out of the rain. I instead, choose to take walks in it, with nothing shielding me from the wetness. It is a rebirth. A rebirth of what, I don’t know.

I love emotions. I love tears. The greatest, the biggest thing that I have ever done is to let myself cry at my father’s funeral. Not just slow tears rolling out of my eyes, but loud-ass wailing sobbing. I fought it. We are often taught to not show emotion, to not cry. I did not want to show my vulnerability. I am strong! Then, I let myself let it out and it was the most beautiful thing that I have ever done. That is real strength, to be vulnerable. Since that moment, I let my tears roll. Happy or sad tears, angry or joyous tears, I let them come and most importantly I don’t try to figure out where they came from. A tear comes, I acknowledge it, I say, “emotion is present” to myself and I just enjoy it. I love crying!

Weather, emotions, change. Three biggees that I love. These crazy places are where I am most comfortable.

And now, I back down to that weather to take a walk in it. Mmm. mmm. mmm.