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Friday, April 2, 2010

one

(travel home from Austin)
So many possibilities and inspirations are flying around my head! I don’t know where to start!

I am exhausted! But in the most amazing way! My body is tired and sore but at the same time energized and ready for more! My brain has a million possibilities flying around and is filled to the brim. It may just explode. My heart is soaring and knows that its true direction will be found (cue, eyes filling with tears). I just want to give, give, give, heal, heal, heal, and empower! There is a team of girls that is going to miss their connection flight to Santa Barbara because our flight is delayed and trying to book a van for a one-way rental. I just want to help them. I want to hand over my credit card and do whatever I can to make this happen for them. I have a first class seat on today’s flight (because of my miles) and I want to give it away. I don’t need to sit in first class. Yes, it is much more comfortable but maybe someone else will enjoy it more, but in thinking about giving the ticket up, I find myself being choosy with whom I will trade. Only an aisle seat, an exit row is preferred, definitely not a middle. But wouldn’t it be big of me to walk through the plane and see the most uncomfortable looking person and offer it to them? Middle seat and all?

And then I get on the plane, to my first class seat and the person besides me asks if I will trade with her husband in the bulkhead seat. I say no, but if the person next to him won’t switch then I will. I specifically chose my seat and I do not like thae bulkhead seat, but I do want them to sit together, so I will trade, but only if the other passenger won’t. I then guess that the seat will belong to Willie Nelson, who I spied at the gate. I wanted to say hi to him out there as I met him at FarmAID. I will be sitting next to Willie!!!!! Who knows what possibilities will appear with a conversation with him? He comes in, takes that seat and the couple then decides that they don’t care about switching. I guess the husband wants to sit next to Willie. Funny, I forget that other people care. I forget that other people may recognize him. I forget that means something, to sit by someone, even if you never exchange a word. So, there it goes. I could have said yes, right away and be sitting next to Willie, but I didn’t and I now get to keep my bags at my feet.

But, what I realize is, the person that I am, the person that I have become really does see the endless possibilities in what a simple hello can make. Even if I don’t know exactly what I want to say, even if I don’t know exactly what I want, I am aware that possibilities are everywhere. Yes, I have set intentions for my life. I want to be a published and paid writer. I want joyology to be my line of work. I don’t know exactly what I want those to look like. I have ideas about them. I want to write a regular article in a publication. I want to work with companies and corporations as the on staff or joy consultant. I don’t have an outline for how I am going to make these things happen, but I know that they will in some form.

As I write this I am becoming annoyed with the woman sitting beside me. She is moving around to get comfortable and I am making it mean that she is annoyed with me so she is making these moves to annoy me. I make up that she doesn’t like me because I wouldn’t trade seats at first at that she thinks I only offered to trade seats when I saw it was Willy, but I didn’t I offered before I saw him. What I forget is that for her to ask me to switch in the first place could have been a huge deal for her, to make that request. Also, she is really just trying to get comfortable. I am making it mean that it is all about me!

It’s funny that I go into judgment. Well, he must not want to switch now because he wants to say that he sat next to Willie. Doesn’t he know that Willie is not going to talk to him? What is he hoping for just a quick, “hi, I am a fan” moment. How am I am better than that? I was hoping for a conversation with him too. About what, I don’t know. Of course I was planning on bringing up that I am a friend/tour with Jason (they just recorded together), but is my "would be" conversation better or more important that this man who is on his honeymoon? Hell no!

We are all the same. We are all so different, but really we are all the same. We are all one.

PS. I did get my conversation with Willie. We walked and talked the whole way from our gate at LAX to our curbside ride pickups.

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