Tuesday, April 6, 2010

committed to love

I woke up just now, having no idea where I was. I wasn’t confused or lost, I was just in such an active dream world that I didn’t know what called me to wake up. I usually don’t remember much of my dreams, but today I woke up feeling as if I was still in mine.

I remember being at the sound company’s headquarters that I used to work for and it is much bigger, with lots of grass land surrounding it. I then remember being in a huge locker room and everyone was going to take a heated yoga class.  Was this part of the sound company now?  I lock my belongings into the box they tell me is mine and go in to the yoga room.  After the class, everyone is dripping in sweat and needing a shower; a change of clothes is a must. I find my locker and the combination to my lock comes back to me with absolute certainty (in my dream, I don't really know where I am or why I am there either), but it doesn’t open. Am I at the wrong locker? But, I see all of the other lockers are opened and emptied. Then someone comes along and opens the lock that I tried to open. It is her locker, not mine. Where is mine? Where did my stuff go?

I felt a bad vibe from a few people earlier and right away look for them. Did they steal my clothes, my stuff? I had more than just my clothes in that locker.  I had my purse, my keys, my wallet.  I need that stuff!  I don't even really know where I am!

I make eye contact with this group that I immediately want to blame and I make up that they are taunting me. They do not like me and I have no idea as to why. I have never met them before ( I think?).  I right away take a defensive, angry, I don’t fuck around stance and they just roll their eyes at me.

I am livid! Why did these people take my stuff? What are they doing with it? Why don’t they like me? What do I do? I march over to them and accuse them of taking my stuff. They are not budging. They just laugh at me. I walk away and feel so lost. What am I going to do? What is up with these people? I am so angry! I am enraged!

I don’t like this feeling. I don't’ like this hatred I am taking on, not what these people are showing me, but what I am showing them. I don’t even know if they took my stuff. Why am I showing them so much non-love? I feel sick with anger and I don't like it.  I am going to apologize.

I walk back over and put it all on the line. I started to cry as I apologize for being so evil with them. Whether they took my stuff of not, I was not acting out of love I was not being love and that is what I am committed to, I say.  I am committed to being love at all times, with all beings.  In my sharing they don’t become my instant friends, but there is definitely an energy shift.

I walk away feeling much better.  I still don't know where my stuff is but I feel like a dark cloud has passed.  I am back at my locker and there are all of my belongings.  Untouched, right where I left them before class.

I choose love, always.   I choose love.  No matter what you show me, I choose love. 


  1. Tricia,

    Must be difficult being a joyologist--having to be joyful, happy, positive all the time. Hey, don't worry. Be anything--even negative, mad, livid..... you are only human. You can be anything. It's okay. It's real!

  2. Exactly anonymous Emotions are real! I allow myself to feel all emotions and there is no way not to, but then I move through those emotions, past the root of what is causing those emotions and I choose love. And I choose to love all of my emotions and what causes them! As a joyologist I do not HAVE to do anything. Just like you don't. It is just who I am. It is what I choose.

  3. Inspirational Tricia! I love this so much, it is all about the choice.

    *Donald: "I loved Sarah Charles, it was mine. That love, I owned it. And Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want..."
    Charlie: "She thought you were pathetic"
    Donald:"That was her problem, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you, I decided that a long time ago."*

    That's from the film Adaptation, your post made me think of it. Thanks for this Tricia.

    Much love to you,


  4. Dear Tricia,

    I think that selling the idea of a Joyologist is very hard, as it is required for the the other party to know you, your "vibe". That is almost impossible to transmit via an email. As most of this job involves "being you", they need to know you first, let's say your abilities of inspiring love. I feel it might be difficult to get to work for some company that does actually know you (unless maybe they know someone that really knows you and who can speak for you). That being said, hope it all works out well! Everybody needs an infusion of joy in their life, and if there is someone on set available to provide it, even better !

    And one more note: you mention you saw 'grass' in your dream -- that is actually very good ! Dreaming green (and I don't mean eco-friendly, I mean the color of green) is very good for your mind. here's a more compelling explanation :

    "Green is a color we associate with nature and therefore is often association with spring. Dreams involving the color green can indicate new beginnings, rebirth, or resurrection. Green can also be a color pun meaning 'go'--that you have the 'green light' to move on in your life. Green is also associated with the heart chakra and can indicate newness in your ability to feel affinity with those around you." (via

    What other colors did you see ? I assume it was one of those color intense dreams, which again it is said that they are very refreshing.

    So keep on dreaming green !