I did not want to get out of bed at all today! Last night, after writing several drafts of my Joyology proposal, there was a knock on my door. It was two of my friendly neighbors asking me to come watch the sunset from their beachfront deck. Minutes before their knock I had been crying reading over re-writes that I had gotten back from the trusted few that I sent the proposal to. So, I said, “why not! I will have a glass of wine and hang”. These guys have knocked on my door several times and I have yet to hang out with them. I actually had a really great time sipping on red wine and chatting away. I told them all about my proposal and they were stoked for this made up service that I was offering.
I had a couple glasses of wine, but didn’t feel drunk. I hadn’t eaten dinner so when I got back to my place I foraged for food. Alcohol makes me eat. I don’t know if it is just a subconscious need to soak it up? My kitchen is very bare right now but I came up with a concoction of nori, almond butter, and sauerkraut that was actually really good. It was now 10 pm.
I crawled into bed and turned on a movie instead of taking another stab at my proposal. I ended up staying up pretty late and when I woke up this morning I did not want to budge. I chose to let myself stay wrapped up in bed, and turned on another movie. I was just not motivated to do anything else and I was getting real satisfaction in allowing myself to stay in bed and not write!
I didn’t budge from my cozy bed until noon. When I finally got up to use the restroom. I was suddenly lit up! I was stoked! (I actually wondered if it was the power of dropping the kids of at the pool, if you know what I mean.) I was ready to take on my next draft of the proposal. I printed out all of the previous drafts and embarked on a brand new one. It was fresh and real, not forced. I finished it and sent it out to my team of reviewers.
I am overwhelmed once again with hope and faith. I know that my life will work out. I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know what that means, but I know that it will work out.
I trust the unknown.