past resistance.

Today was my forth day in a row of yoga. I used to practice yoga everyday or at least 5 times a week. Since tour ended in December my practice has been quite spotty. I traveled around to visit friends and didn’t make it a priority. In India, I practiced daily, but then I got sick, real sick, and could barely move. Once I moved into my own place, I started to go to some local studios and practice on my own. I was figuring out which studio I wanted to sign up with (monthly unlimited packages are the best deals) or if I was just going to practice on my own. I love my own practice, but motivating myself to do it is a struggle most days and I really do love being led through classes. I found my favorite local studio that I can bike to (a must) but then just didn’t go. I was suddenly in love with my mornings.

In the history of me and yoga, I have almost always practiced in the morning, but that is really the only time that I could. I would go to 6am classes and then go to work for 14 hours or such. Even when evening classes were available to me, it just didn’t make sense for me. I like it in the morning. I love to have it be the start of my day. Now though, I like to wake up and have tea and write. I don’t want to rush out the door and riding my bike 2.5 miles to yoga is different than slumping into a car to get there. I would tell myself that I will just go later, and most of the time that didn’t happen.

So anyhoo. I have been getting on a roll, going to classes regularly, feeling strong again and then I go out of town miss two days and then have a hard time motivating myself again. Motivating myself to stop what I am doing, to wake up earlier, to plan my eating times (I can not eat 3 hours before yoga), to leave my little love nest to do this amazing practice for my body and my mind. I am now choosing to get back on the yoga train.

Today, Day 4, I find myself so resistant. I go to a 10am class and don’t want to open my mouth to say hello. I don’t want to turn the corners of my mouth up to smile. I want to listen to the teacher, but I don’t. I am resisting. What? I really have no freaking clue. So, I just notice my resistance and turn my intention to breathing into the resistance. I inhale love. I exhale resistance. I inhale peace. I exhale resistance. I inhale space. I exhale resistance. When I notice that I am not breathing or that I am resisting a pose, I go deeper and I smile to myself. I don’t force resistance out. I work with that resistance. I have compassion for my resistance, not sympathy, but compassion. Resistance, I realize that you may think you are protecting me from something, but it is ok, I can handle whatever it is. I am ready to expose whatever you are covering for. I appreciate your protection, but lets just shed it away now, okay?