Sunday, April 25, 2010

past resistance.

Today was my forth day in a row of yoga. I used to practice yoga everyday or at least 5 times a week. Since tour ended in December my practice has been quite spotty. I traveled around to visit friends and didn’t make it a priority. In India, I practiced daily, but then I got sick, real sick, and could barely move. Once I moved into my own place, I started to go to some local studios and practice on my own. I was figuring out which studio I wanted to sign up with (monthly unlimited packages are the best deals) or if I was just going to practice on my own. I love my own practice, but motivating myself to do it is a struggle most days and I really do love being led through classes. I found my favorite local studio that I can bike to (a must) but then just didn’t go. I was suddenly in love with my mornings.

In the history of me and yoga, I have almost always practiced in the morning, but that is really the only time that I could. I would go to 6am classes and then go to work for 14 hours or such. Even when evening classes were available to me, it just didn’t make sense for me. I like it in the morning. I love to have it be the start of my day. Now though, I like to wake up and have tea and write. I don’t want to rush out the door and riding my bike 2.5 miles to yoga is different than slumping into a car to get there. I would tell myself that I will just go later, and most of the time that didn’t happen.

So anyhoo. I have been getting on a roll, going to classes regularly, feeling strong again and then I go out of town miss two days and then have a hard time motivating myself again. Motivating myself to stop what I am doing, to wake up earlier, to plan my eating times (I can not eat 3 hours before yoga), to leave my little love nest to do this amazing practice for my body and my mind. I am now choosing to get back on the yoga train.

Today, Day 4, I find myself so resistant. I go to a 10am class and don’t want to open my mouth to say hello. I don’t want to turn the corners of my mouth up to smile. I want to listen to the teacher, but I don’t. I am resisting. What? I really have no freaking clue. So, I just notice my resistance and turn my intention to breathing into the resistance. I inhale love. I exhale resistance. I inhale peace. I exhale resistance. I inhale space. I exhale resistance. When I notice that I am not breathing or that I am resisting a pose, I go deeper and I smile to myself. I don’t force resistance out. I work with that resistance. I have compassion for my resistance, not sympathy, but compassion. Resistance, I realize that you may think you are protecting me from something, but it is ok, I can handle whatever it is. I am ready to expose whatever you are covering for. I appreciate your protection, but lets just shed it away now, okay?


  1. I hear ya, although i am in the opposite direction...i started Yoga always in the evenings and now i am starting Tuesday lessons in the office at 7am. Lets see how this morning Yoga proves to be! :D

  2. I don't know if this was your intention, but this post has inspired me to re-take up yoga. Thank-you. =)

  3. I'm just curious.. what type of yoga do you do? maybe Bikram?
    I feel your pain regardless, sometimes as human beings we forget how much better we feel after we practice and tell ourselves we're fine without it (even though we know that practicing pulls us together in so many ways!)
    Congrats for keeping strong with it!